No Sex.

Told my husband that after 2 C-Sections I lost all feeling in my Vagina so I can’t have sex. Works. That’s All.

Great wedding “little extra gift”

For those of you who have friends getting married and moving to a cold and dreary state, add a bottle of Vitamin D to their shower/wedding present. Also the phone number of a fabulous therapist for the months of Nov.-May. That’s All.

Going to the therapist

Asked why I’m all dressed up today, I reply,”I went for an appointment at my therapist.” And then it occurred to me, “WHY”? She knows I’m depressed, why not show up in my pajamas? Better yet, why not tell her the truth? I’m in my PJ’s and can’t get out of bed. How about coming over to my house today? I have an extra key hidden in a plastic rock by my door. Just come in, grab some water or coffee, possibly a snack, and come upstairs to my room. There’s a chair by my bed, and we can talk. If everyone would just leave me alone, I could crawl into the fetal position in a corner of my room and save $200 a week. That’s All.

You Can Have It All.

You Can Have It All, But You Can’t Have It All At Once. ,,,”Friday Night Lights”

Brown Paper Bag

When I’m upset, I buy the most expensive bottled water I can find, wrap it in a brown paper bag, then drink and drive. When I’m finished, I toss it into the back seat of my car.

IT’S A GUY THING

It’s not a guy thing. They’re just lazy and annoying. That’s All.

My Bloated Stomach

My kids are 17 and 15 . When am I going to lose my pregnancy weight? My stomach was extra bloated today. I don’t know why. I didn’t eat anything different, just my two regular sized Arby’s roast beef sandwiches, onion rings and an extra large diet coke. I then realized I was wearing my son’s shorts the whole day. I KNEW THERE WAS SOMETHING WRONG! That’s All.

Colonoscopy

Instead of the prep they use for this test, they should just give you a shot with the worst strain of stomach flu they can find. That’s All.

Love massages

There is nothing better in the whole world (ok, besides your children, family, etc.) than getting a professional massage!!! It it one of those things you have to do before you die. I mean how can you relax when you know your husband is only giving you a massage because he wants sex afterwards. If my husband would accept money instead, life would be beyond. That’s All.

I thought of a great title for a book on the recession

Time Just Stopped On My Waterford Clock.